Marriage is a paradox for many people. Is it a wonderful, blissful adventure alongside a beloved partner? Or is it a painful journey fraught with difficulties whose outcome is never certain? Through over four decades of marriage and ministry, Ed Young has seen how both these notions have truth and falsehood behind them.

This book presents ten biblical principles that address common marriage problems. It is not an exhaustive marriage manual, and any of the principles could have full-length books devoted to them. As an overview of marriage principles, however, it lays a thorough foundation for couples.

Each commandment begins with a personal note highlighting an important area or giving a word of encouragement. The chapters contain typical marital shortcomings, relevant Biblical passages, and lots of practical advice for improvement. Questions provided are applicable to married couples or someone contemplating or preparing about marriage.

The strength of this book is its exhaustive practical advice. The “dos and don’ts” referred to in the subtitle play a prominent role in the contents. It’s a book meant to help married couples—to recover from pain, to learn skills, to cast great visions, and to continuously improve. Examples, illustrations, acrostics, numbered steps, and action-oriented bullet points abound. The ideas are grounded in Biblical passages that are clearly explained.

The book has four weaknesses. First, Young’s examples seem specific to a middle-aged audience; very young couples may have difficulty relating to the illustrations. Second, some of the topics addressed are handled too sparingly. In “Thou Shalt Cut the Apron Strings,” Young states, “If we want our marriages to reflect well on God, it is essential that we leave our past mistakes right where they belong: in the past! We need to leave the things we’ve done and those things done to us at the foot of the cross. We have to move on.” This is, of course, true on one level. However, the discussion that follows does not delve into the difficult nuances beyond such statements. This overview-only treatment does not seem appropriate to some of the weightier topics addressed. Third, Young uses the term “mutual submission” unnecessarily, which may lose some complementarian readers. He could communicate the same message by saying that the husband’s love is sacrificial, which asserts that both would essentially be submitting. Last, while Young makes use of his own experiences from his marriage and the marriages of those he’s counseled, the book could have benefited from the plethora of research done by professional marriage counselors (i.e. research suggests four patterns that are guaranteed to destroy marriage: withdrawal, escalation, negative interpretation, and invalidation).

This book would be very appropriate for a couples’ Sunday school or home discussion setting. The chapters are short, easy to understand and thorough. Each chapter encapsulates typical marriage weaknesses and mindsets, and describes helpful skills and ideas for improvement. Many of the discussion questions are thought-provoking. A group could easily find plenty of worthy discussion topics, and several areas in which their participants could improve their marriages.

Review by Mickie Courtney